Rivers End
by HillaryBSmithFan
Summary: Brandon and Guya struggle to deal with the demons of her past.  VENICE
1. Preface

**Brandon and Guya, VENICE**

**Preface**

It was almost like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Guilt had a way of creeping into the secret places of your life and leaving you with emptiness. She knew that everyone had secrets in their lives and had hers been like most people's she might have been able to live with that…except her secret ran much deep then that…it had left her niece and her nephew without a mother…her without a sister…a husband without a wife…how did you wake up every day and live with that…accident or no accident?

She had been seeing her sister's spirit for months now. She couldn't figure out what she wanted from her. Didn't she know that she hadn't meant for any of this to happen? That there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't wish she could turn back the clock and change things… What good would revealing the awful truth do now? It would destroy lives…lives that were already fragile. How could she alleviate her guilt by simply confessing… they were her family…she was terrified of how they would react? And then there was Brandon…her Brandon…the wonderful cop in her life…what would knowing that she had killed her own sister do to him? Would his feelings for her change? Would he understand why she had lied? Would he forgive her? The alternative had been too much for her to comprehend. She couldn't lose any of them. And that included her son Van… who was the reason she had turned away…he was just a child then and now he was already so resentful and bitter of his cousins…no doubt jealous of the care she had given them. What would knowing the truth do to him? She couldn't face that. She couldn't face the lives she would destroy by confessing…so she had omitted.

She had pulled out the journal where she had written it all down and re-read the entry like she had done every day since it happened. She was haunted by guilt and misery and she missed her sister terribly. Her spirit had comforted her as she had cried into the pillow for the millionth time…Only this time Brandon had come in. He had known something had been bothering her for a while now but he hadn't pushed it…and he wasn't going to push it now…she needed comfort. Without saying a word, he took her into his arms and she cried into his strong embrace as he held her tight. He vowed then and there to find a way to heal the demons that haunted her… He just didn't know how to get her to open up.

_Did she have any idea how much he loved her,_ he wondered, unaware that she was thinking the same thing about him.


	2. Chapter One

**Brandon and Guya, VENICE  
><strong>

**Chapter One**

Guya had come in one evening after work. Gina was standing by her bed, holding the journal she had struggled to keep concealed for all these years. She turned around and faced her…tears falling from her eyes.

"Is this true," She demanded. "Are you the reason my mom is dead?"

"Gina…Gina please…please let me explain?"

"I think you explained everything in this journal. What's left to explain? You lied to us for most of our lives. How can we trust you now? "

"Gina wait…Wait…please don't go…I…I love you…I may have lied about everything else but never that…"

She looked back only once and then she shut the door…leaving her completely alone. She looked completely broken when Brandon walked in.

"I saw Gina leave…are you okay?"

"I lost her Brandon. I lost my family. And now I'm afraid, I'm going to lose you too."

He went to her then…pulling her into his arms and holding her like a parent often holds a scared child. He stroked her hair and kissed her head. Then he looked at her, wiping the tears that had fallen from her eyes.

"That's never going to happen baby…Don't you know that you can tell me anything?"

"What if you don't want me after this? I can't stand the thought that you'll hate me too."

"I'm never going to hate you. I love you too much for that."

"You love me? Did you just say you love me?"

"Yeah damn it…I love you…you just had to go and make me love you didn't you?"

"I love you too…The last thing I wanted was to fall in love again…but damn it, you just had to go and interfere with my plans…and if I tell you and you walk away from me, I'm never going to survive…you make me vulnerable Brandon and I hate being vulnerable."

"Please just tell me what has you so afraid…"

"Maybe you should just read it for yourself. I don't know if I can say it again."

She handed him the journal and he started to read. Guya started to brace herself for the worst because that's what she was used to. She was used to everyone walking away.


	3. Chapter Two

**Brandon and Guya, VENICE  
><strong>

**Chapter Two**

It was the first time that Brandon had seen the demons that had haunted her. He could only guess what kind of torture she was putting herself through. She was looking at him with heartfelt pleading and if he didn't already love her…he would have loved her then. She didn't deserve the life that she had been living…she deserved more.

Brandon: I'm sorry you had to live with this for so long. I'm sorry you had to carry the burden.

Guya: Brandon, I killed someone.

Brandon: No…no, you feel like you did. But it wasn't your fault. You didn't kill her.

Guya: If I hadn't turned away…

Brandon: There's no way you could possibly know that. What happened to her was a terrible accident…You have to find a way to forgive yourself?

Guya: How am I supposed to do that? She was my sister…my best friend…

Brandon: And you are so wracked with guilt that you haven't even allowed yourself to grieve. You have to let go sweetheart. You have to.

Guya: You're not…you're not leaving me?

Brandon: Did you think I really would? Did you think I could tell you I love you and then walk away?

Guya: It's what I'm used to. Nobody ever loves me enough to stick around. My ex husband ran off with someone younger…

Brandon: Your ex husband was a jack ass and a fool…He didn't see you the way I do… You can call yourself whatever name you want…it's not going to change your heart… you're a good person and I'm not going anywhere…

Guya: Nobody's ever loved me like you do…

Brandon: That's because they didn't see the real you…and I'm grateful they didn't because if they had then you'd still be with them and I wouldn't be here to kiss away all your tears…

Guya: You're going to kiss away my tears?

Brandon: How else can I get you to stop hating yourself for something that was completely out of your control?

Guya: Brandon?

Brandon: Shhhh… (He kissed her)…We can talk about this more in the morning…tonight I'm going to take care of you. How does that sound?

Guya: If you want to take care of me, I'm certainly not going to stop you.

He laughed as he lifted her off the ground and she smiled as he carried her up the stairs.


	4. Chapter Three

**Rivers End****  
>Brandon and Guya, VENICE<strong>

**Chapter Three**

Guya hadn't known that taking care of her had meant more then just what she was used to. Brandon had started with a bubble bath. He had washed her hair and given her a full- body massage until she was so relaxed that she would have given in to anything. He had then proceeded to rub every square inch of her body as he washed her with soap. She wasn't sure if she should tell him what his hands were doing to her. She had been used to sex…she had always had her share of boy toys and meaningless affairs after her ex husband had run off and convinced her that this kind of love just didn't exist and at first that's what she thought he would be…but he was so much more then that…he was someone that had proved every single belief she had about men to be wrong…she had expected him to leave but he had stayed right by her side…she had expected him to judge and he had judged no one. How had she ever gotten to be so damn lucky?

He had carried her to the bed, his lips upon hers as he pressed his tongue into her willing mouth. She had never wanted anyone more then in this moment. They had had sex before but this…this seemed so different. He had placed her on the bed as he stepped out of his clothes. No words were needed as she smiled at him…the smile he had said melted his world.

"I want to be everything you need," he whispered to her, as he gently moved her trembling body down to the pillows.

"You already are," she responded, as she kissed him and opened herself for him. He used his lips and his tongue as he traveled up her hot skin. She was hot to the touch and not because of the bath water. He pressed his tongue into her wet center and tasted the nectar which fell into his waiting mouth as he sucked it in.

"You taste so sweet…So hot and moist."

She smiled as she shifted her hips and turned him in the other direction so she could taste his throbbing erection. "You're hard as a rock…does that mean you like it when I…" She took his cock into her mouth and sucked it in…tasting the delicious desire as he cummed in her throat.

"Oh God, I love when you touch me like that," he said.

"Touch me Brandon. I want to feel you inside me next time we cum."

He smiled as he rolled on top of her, kissing her long, hard and slow as his body covered hers and he pushed into her harder then she had even known was possible…Brandon hardening even more as he entered her, bringing her to ecstasy as he plunged deeper.

"Oh God, yes…more…I want to feel more…"

"Baby, I'll give you everything I've got…"

Their screams of pleasure filled their bedroom as they continued to crash in and out of each other until they were so full of each other that breathing was almost impossible and they exploded inside each other as they came undone, collapsing in perfect harmony beneath the tangled sheets.

Brandon held Guya in his arms as they tried to catch their breath. No words had been spoken for the rest of the night. They just simply lay there holding each other, knowing possibly for the first time that love could still exist with honesty…that maybe, possibly, there really was no part of themselves they couldn't lay bare to each other…Guya's heart was broken by the loss of her family but the other part of her heart was only just Starting to beat because she had been born the day he had given her the greatest gift of all…unconditional love…the kind of love that until now she had never believed existed.


	5. Chapter Four

**Rivers End****  
>Brandon and Guya, VENICE<strong>

**Chapter Four**

She wanted to believe that she was the person that he saw but she couldn't…she could only see the woman who had destroyed her family. She knew that he was right and she needed to forgive herself but how could she…how could she even live with herself? He found her at the table, crying over some sort of papers and it was then when he realized what she was doing.

"No…no, you are NOT doing this…"

"Brandon, I can't…I can't let you sacrifice yourself for me. And I need to do something to make up for what I've done."

"You didn't do anything wrong. Yeah, someone ended up dead. It was a horrible, awful tragedy. But it wasn't your fault. When are you going to stop punishing yourself for something that was beyond your control?"

"Maybe we should let a jury decide that?"

"Damn it Guya…why are you determined to throw your life away?"

"Because…because she lost hers…because her kids lost their mother…and even the cornel…he lost his wife…"

"You lost your sister…"

"Because of something I did…why should I get to walk around free when so much has been lost?"

"Because no crime has been committed…because you don't belong there…because I love you."

"I love you too…that's why you have to do this…because sooner or later, it will come out…and when it does…When it does than I don't want you to be in trouble because you covered for me. I've hurt so many people Brandon…I couldn't stand it if I hurt you too…"

He grabbed her face and pulled her against him fiercely… kissing her as if it really were the last time he would see her. He brushed the hair out of her face as he cupped it in his hands. "Why can't you see that by doing this, you are hurting me? You say you don't want to do that then please…please don't do this…"

"I have to…I have to tell the truth and face my punishment…whatever it may be…the lies…the secrecy…Brandon it has to stop…it is interfering with everything I am…I don't want this kind of life for myself anymore…or for my family…or for you…I hope that you can understand why I have to do this…and I hope that you won't give up on me…because the last thing I want is to lose you…I'm doing this as much for you as I am for myself."

"I meant it when I said that I was never going to leave you…I know that you have been too damaged to believe that…but I hope that you find peace of mind…I hope that when this is through, you will believe that I am not going to hurt you…"

"I want to be the woman you deserve…"

"You already are…but if this is something you really need to do…"

"It Is…"

"All right then…then I'm going to be the one to bring you in…you're going to have to look at me when you give your story…Do you think you can do that…Can you look me in the eyes and swear that this is what you want?"

She forced back tears as she looked at him…putting her wrists out in front of him. "Arrest me detective?"


	6. Chapter Five

**Rivers End****  
>Brandon and Guya, VENICE<strong>

**Chapter Five**

He took her down to the station per her request. He still didn't believe that she belonged there but he respected what she was trying to do. Still, he had to force back the tears when he put the cuffs on her. It was something that a man in love should never have to do. She was questioned, booked, and placed in a holding cell until further notice. And through all of it, Brandon had remained by her side. She had still half expected him to leave. It was what she had known. And then her family had shown up and Brandon had cut them off at the pass.

"If you are going to go in there and make her feel worse then she already does then you can take your asses right back out. I won't let you hurt her anymore."

"She killed…, Gina had started to say.

"No Gina…she didn't kill…She's responsible in some small way but she didn't kill. She didn't murder. She loved her sister. This is eating her alive."

"If this is all just a big misunderstanding then why is she in a jail cell," Owen added?

"Because she insisted…because she didn't give me a choice…because she is a wonderful woman who made a mistake and wants to take responsibility…she didn't want me to cover for her because it just might ruin my career…and you…you three…all of you are her kids…biologically or otherwise…don't you dare go in there and start throwing stones…none of you are entitled to that…she has forgiven you for everything…raised you when she didn't have to…loved you in spite of it all…have some damn respect and give it back to her…she's suffering enough. The only thing she is guilty of is loving you too much…wanting to protect you at her expense…that's it."

They all stood there dumbfounded and when they didn't budge, Brandon had left to go to her cell. If they couldn't support her 100% then he would…she didn't need anyone to be there if they couldn't give her their love.

"Did you send my family away Brandon," She asked him?

"I asked them to support you but they couldn't do it so they left. I know you love them but if they can't support you 100% then they shouldn't be here."

"They have a right to hate me Brandon."

"That's fucking bullshit. You have been there for those kids even when they fucked up royally. If they can't return the favor…"

"Why are you so worked up about this…?"

Because baby…because I fucking love you and you aren't making it very easy to help you…I don't want to see you locked up…I don't want to see you pay for something that was a mistake at best. You frustrate the hell out of me sometimes."

"Well at least I'm not boring right?"

"No one would ever accuse you of that…you are the best damn ride of my life…frustrating, exhilarating, and damn near frightening…I guess that's what love is…"

"I've never loved anyone like you…I always thought I was damaged goods…but you…you make me feel beautiful and special and really everything I never thought I was…I love you Brandon…you're the first time I've ever thought about the stuff other people do…since…"

"Since the bastard who broke your heart…back when you were Jane."

"Since then…"

"Then do something for me Guya…prove to me that you aren't trying to sabotage yourself…Marry me…?"

Her face went pale white then…she loved him…but could she really do the marriage thing again?

"I don't know if I can Brandon…and it's not because I don't love you…because I don't want to believe that forever exists…but in my experience…it jut doesn't."

"All right…A compromise then…Move in with me…?"

"I'm scared Brandon…I'm scared you're going to discover things about me that you don't really like…I've never done this sort of thing before…I've never cared this much…I…I don't want to lose you…"

"You're not going to lose me…But I need you to stop shutting me out…I love you and I want a life with you…Don't you want that too?

"Of course I do…I want you more then I've ever wanted anyone..."

"Then give me something to hold on to baby…move in with me…give me some sort of commitment…"

"I could be going to jail Brandon…what then?"

"Then I guess I'll be moving in with YOU…my life…my place…it's with you…you Guya…the woman I am absolutely nuts about…you and only you…so?"

"All right…all right I'll move in with you…but if this starts to become an issue for us…"

"Then we'll re -evaluate…but trust me, It won't…we're headed for nothing but good times now…you and me against the world remember?"

"I remember…but I've never had it before…"

"Then get ready…You're about to have even better."

He unlocked the cell door and stepped inside. He pulled her against him urgently and passionately. "I told you Guya…you are where I belong…my home and my life. I love you."

"I love you Brandon…I'm scared as hell to feel that but damn it…I love you."

No words were said as he lifted her onto the tiny cot of the cell and they began to get undressed. They needed each other tonight. Nothing would satisfy them until they were inside each other again…they needed to make love like most people breathed…their survival depended on it…so they clung to each other…heart, body, mind and soul…two becoming one as they filled each other with everything they possibly could…over and over again…


	7. Chapter Six

**Rivers End****  
>Brandon and Guya, VENICE<strong>

**Chapter Six**

Brandon spoke on Guya's behalf at her arraignment. He was a cop but he loved her first and foremost. He didn't believe she deserved to go to prison. She was in tears as she stood for the decision. Brandon reached out and squeezed her hand for moral support. She hadn't realized she was holding her breath until she heard the relief in Brandon's voice and the outrage in her niece and nephew's…the judge had decided there wasn't enough evidence for a trial…she wasn't being charged. She fell into Brandon's open arms and cried.

"I told you baby…I told you you'd be okay."

"Because of you…only because of you…"

"I'd do anything for you…anything at all…because I love you that much."

"I love you too," she said between tears. He put his arm around her as they walked out of the courtroom. She had trouble seeing the pain in Gina and Owen's eyes but she felt like she deserved it. Brandon didn't.

"I understand that you're upset," he said. "But are you really going to let a mistake that she made cancel out all the good? She's your family for God's sake…she's been there for you through it all…be there for her."

They didn't say anything further. He took her home and took care of her. They made love on the kitchen table after he fed her ice cream.

"You're so good to me Brandon. You're so good. Why do you love me like this when it's the last thing I deserve?"

"I love you because you're you…and because you DO deserve it…all of it…I wouldn't change anything about you…your flaws just make you more human…"

"I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this…all of this is foreign to me…I was never the woman that men fought for…I was the one they left behind."

"You never will be again…Because I will never leave you…and I'm never going to stop trying to convince you to marry me…because I would be proud to call you my wife…let the world judge if they want to…I don't give a shit…I LOVE YOU…Guya, Jane, whoever you want to call yourself…that's all that matters…"

"What if I'm terrible at it…what if I don't know how to do the marriage thing Brandon…I couldn't stand it if I hurt you…"

"We can learn together baby…we can…please….there's nothing I want more then to marry you and call you my wife…If you want to do something for me…take my ring and say that you'll marry me some day…can you at least do that?"

"Okay…okay Brandon…I'll marry you…If you really know what you're getting yourself into and you still want to marry me then…then okay."

He kissed her fiercely as he twirled her around in his arms. "I love you so much. I'm going to make you so happy."

"I love you too…and you already do," she said, as he slipped the engagement ring on her finger and carried her up to their bedroom to celebrate


	8. Chapter Seven

** Rivers End****  
>Brandon and Guya, VENICE<strong>

**Chapter Seven**

Guya woke to the smell of a rose and kisses upon her neck. She smiled as she attempted to wipe the sleep from her face. He pulled her closer to him as he pressed his lips down on hers. She leaned into him and accepted each kiss with one of her own, tongues being used to deepen the connection. After making love all morning, he took her to breakfast. She felt like she was on top of the world as he introduced her as his fiancé. She looked down at her ring and smiled. She had never before felt this much peace and happiness. Brandon was her savior.

"I didn't even know that this kind of love existed...I didn't think anyone would love me if they knew the real me," she said.

"I'm the only one who knows the real you...everyone else sees just what you want them to...they don't take the time to know you."

"I love you Brandon. Honestly I didn't think it was possible to be this happy...to be this in love...when I met you, I was perfectly content to just go through life not mattering like that to anyone..."

"Only because you didn't trust that anyone would be there for you through everything...nobody ever had before..."

He kissed her softly as he let her fall into his arms. She hadn't said it but she knew he was right. She had never believed she deserved to be this happy.

xoxoxo

Days passed and Guya slowly began to give up on any chance of forgiveness. She had called Gina and Owen several times but had never heard back. Brandon did his best to comfort her but there was only so much he could do. She missed her family. Then one day she was standing in the bridal boutique adjusting her veil when she heard a familiar voice.

"You look beautiful," Gina said. "Brandon's a lucky guy."

"I think I'm the lucky one," she said, as she faced her. "What are you doing here Gina," she asked? "I thought you hated me."

"I don't exactly hate you," she said, sadly. "I was angry and hurt and I lashed out. But Brandon was right. You've been there for us through everything. When I think of my life, I think of you. "

"Does that mean you forgive me," she asked?

"It means that I'd like to try."

"Well that's a start...and I'll take it...would it be pushing my luck to ask you to be in my wedding?"

"I'll think about it..."

"Have you heard from your brother," she asked? She was just about to answer when he walked in. "I'm right here Aunt Jane...you really...you look beautiful. Despite everything, I hope you will be happy."

"Will you come to my wedding," she asked?

"I'll think about it...I'll think about forgiving you. That's the best I can do."

"That's enough for now."

They shared a tentative hug as Brandon watched her from the back. She should have known he was behind this. He was the absolute best thing that ever happened to her. She wasn't even angry that he had seen her in her wedding dress. She wasn't in love with it anyways. She could find another dress...she could never find another Brandon. She could never find another Owen or Gina. They were her family and she loved them all.


End file.
